Tough Times

Its amazing how emotions can sway a person's being so easily! Emotions are intangible, so miniscule transparent yet that's what makes them the most powerful. You can't kill with a bullet, silence them with them with a muzzle because they always find their way out. Either passively or aggressively they emerge in just transform in some way shape or form but to never dissipate! I wonder why God made emotions to be this way? I mean especially with human emotion....it can be so unstable so deadly and heart wrenching but then again when positive and shared with someone else they could be the most powerful things in the world. Especially with love. I understand the thin line between love and hate. If you love so one so strong and they do not love you back its easy to want to hate them or yourself because the emotion is so strong and hard to take away. But at the same time, if that person returns your love just as strongly as you love them, it can be the most amazing thing ever. Perhaps life would be much better without emotions but it could never be sweeter without them. I supposed because God loves us so much that he was able to take the risk and make us so much like him. But with free will we go through hell loving someone who won't love us back. If that is the case, then he must feel like this when his creation rejects him. So that's how Jesus experienced every thing every human would endure....overwhelming yet powerful! Still pondering........ *sigh*

After the Storm

So...this past week was a week from hell! My computer was malfunctioning, my money was acting funny, I was going to class unprepared, without books, my food is constantly dwindling, I was constantly exhausted & I got yelled at on my job! But God...helped me to get through it! Now this week is almost the same except my computer decided it wanted to cooperate :) but now my phone wants to go a rye! :( My friend said he called me like 10 times while I was trying to call him but I wasn't picking up. Neither was the call waiting operating on neither one of our phones. :( *sigh* I'm pretty sure that all the other stuff was definitely a demonic attack since we have been trying to get a campus bible study going. I wonder has my communication with him been demonically influenced also???? Idk, but although he's weird I kind of like talking to him. It's hard to describe and I'm not some desperate person but despite his quirks I think he's a a swell guy....so what does he think of me??? I have no idea :/

Mixed Emotions Compartmentialize

Today has been the beginning of my second week at campus. I met up with an old friend which was great but....something today was different. I guess over time you just don't see people the same way. I mean don't get me wrong! What I'm saying in regards to this friend is not negative by any means but I don't have the burning in my gut for him anymore. Is that bad? I doubt it but idk but for now I'm just happy that at least I can cherish him as just a friend. I think my meeting, although enjoyable just confirmed what I have been thinking all along. {sigh} oh well! That means there's a dude out there better for me or maybe things take time. Either way I'm going to be patient and wait on God. I mean what's my hurry? lol :) ttyl