Although my dad said that they would offer me the job with such certainty, I know that the decision was an answer to my prayers. I prayed that if I was not offered this job that I was recommended for, a job that I could easily do although they needed to train me, that it would be a sign that I need to look beyond my location and perhaps my country to fulfil his will for this season of my life.
I have been thinking about going into service, but honestly I have hesitated due to fear....fear of what others would think, fear of safety/my life, fear of changing into a different controlling and demanding person, fear of failure, fear that I have sold out to a system that I do not agree with because I am too much of a "subjective thinker" and fear that I would not be able to deal with myself my conscious and sleep at night, and the ultimate fear of not being in God's will or discerning enough in an environment my incompetence could affect millions and that I could be killed of deathly wounded at any time.
But I guess ultimately I need to overcome fear especially if this is what I'm meant to do.
When it's all said and done, I will have to answer to God for whether I have obeyed God's voice to do what He wants regardless of whether I want to do it or not. I need to be certain of His voice and follow through!
The confirmation of this fact, was confirmed today by a pure stranger, but fellow brother in Christ, named Ken.
Out of the blue, I did not go to church today. As a result from visiting with grandma, I have breakfast with her and my aunt at McDonalds. My soul was so happy to have gotten there in time enough to order 2 Southern-style chicken biscuits! :-) But as we were preparing to eat, my grandmother sat down beside a 50ish older white gentleman that reminds me a lot of my Uncle Scott. He complimented me on how I honored my grandmother, thanks be to God. He even joked that if he were my age he would have tried to court me! LOL
But aside from his outrageous humor about his cat, Spanky, his love for his wife to make sure to get her a gourmet camper with a toilet/shower, he was a very brilliant man skilled and data writing , helped with the International Trade Organization in Saudi Arabia , a missionary and most importantly a man of God.
I believe it was God's will that we met with him because he told me that God knows what's transpiring on the inside, when my little light has gotten a little dimmer and that He will remind me of the instruction he gave me and led me where to go. He told me that God loves me very much but to seek Him. He did not know me from Adam! But he prayed with us and left. He also told me that I cannot beat God giving. I thank God that He sends strangers to confirm His will because there are times that closest ones to me assume too much and confuse the voice of God with their perception of me.
I'm writing fast because I must go, but I hope and pray that God continuously bless Brother Ken wherever he goes for being obedient! I hope that God shows me soon where I'm suppose to be and that my soul is steadied enough that my spirit hears clearly what He said. Amen
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